We're not entirely sure what exactly the Isle of Wight has done to merit a visit from the Lads from Lagos, but locals should be aware that the Newport correspondent of the Advance Fee Fraud Times may be suffering from a multiple personality disorder:
Associates and solicitor
St. Cross Lane
Isle of Wight
I do foresee the surprise this letter will bring to you as it comes from a stranger, but be assured that it comes with the best of intentions.
I got your contact from a search into the Internet and was inspired to seek your cooperation. I am aware of the risks involved in sending this letter by email, therefore I ask that you consider the factors below ad keep it strictly confidential. However, if you are unable to meet my demand, kindly discard of it.
I am Steven Wright, an attorney to Christian Eicht Mason. On the 25th of July 2000, my client, and his entire family died in the Air France Concorde plane crash heading for New York in their plan for a world cruise, visits the site below.
My late client has a Trust account valued at $10.5 million dollars with a private bank in the UK. I have since been asked to provide his next of kin and sincerely I have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives since he died with his family. With the bank giving me a deadline to the end of their organization?s financial year ending 31st March 2006 before they claim the deposit, I now desperately seek your consent to present you as the sole next of kin of the deceased, so that the entire funds can be paid to you either in cash or direct wire transfer and then you and I can share the money or put it in any profitable business.
I have all necessary information to prepare the relevant documentations that will be used to back up the Claim under a legitimate ground without violating any laws. All I require is your honest co-operation with a ready hand, focused mind and a sincere heart.
If you are interested please do contact me ASAP, so that I can educate you further for us to proceed swiftly.
I wait to hear from you ASAP.
Please reply to email@example.com
Yes indeed, it's all pretty standard stuff, right down to the old "died in a plane crash" gag with the "it must be true because here it is on the Beeb" angle. This is, however, the first 419 email we've seen from a certifiable schizophrenic. These boys really should stick to using just one name per email - any more gives the distinct impression that this might be a less genuine offer than it otherwise appears.
Still, we like the bit about "ready hand, focused mind and a sincere heart". If that isn't from Henry V then it damn well should be, by the Lord Harry.
The usual big-up Abuja rispek to Steve Atty for forwarding this one.