"I always felt that the great high privilege, relief and comfort of friendship was that one had to explain nothing." - Katherine Mansfield
It's the Friday ritual, as a Muslim, I tried my best to observes my Friday's as the Jews or Christians will do there's on Saturday or Sunday. I always looks forward to it like little babies wait for there parents or love one to come home from wherever.
This Friday, was just like every other one, except when one of my friends, who we sometimes hangs out after prayers for few minutes of chats and check on how each other doing and family's well being. My friend is married and I always say to him: You're a good man, I've to seeks some knowledge from you and your wife, I admires at you and the way you devout to your Faith and family's and friends. Sometimes he will say to me, no, I admire at you Brother Sayed, you're my hero. Your HERO? I will asked with my little eyes wide open. I know I am not a hero, I thinks I am just a regular guy who's not perfect but try to do the best one can. Been perfect is a whole different stories. Like another friend of mine will say's: "Show me a PERFECT person, I'll show you the worst and hypocritical person in this World". I thinks I've to go with his idea some how.
My friend wants to talk to me about something, as I can see in his face, something is troubling him, he sometimes says to me, why do you always looks people directly in there eyes as if you can see there SOUL? Wow, I'll say, there SOUL? He will say's yes, you don't takes your eyes off anyone you're talking to. You don't blinks, I'll smile and say's, if I blinks, I'll missed out, We'll laugh and just be men, since we're no more boys, we're old folks now, as my daughter will tells me.
O Kay, enough of blah blah now, let's get to the chase. My friend wants to talks to me about his "House Hold", I mean marriage problems, in my case, I don't thinks it's a problem, but yet it can be. It all depends. I said to him " Brother, come on, there's nothing in your house hold you can't handle, you're the best guy I've seen out here, you're the man, the real deal. O kay brother Sayed, just listen to me now. Sayed is the name my beloved Grand mother gave me and it's special to me always and many friends calls me by that name. It makes me calm down some how, (I just want you to laugh). My friend is a good man, full of kindness and gentle, he talks less and always ask questions in order for him to learn and understand, that's the way I try to be sometimes.
My friend loves his family's and everyone around him and his family's. But sometimes life gives us "Curve Ball", we might not picture it right, but we've to accepts somethings and try to change some other things that we can. Love is love, despite love can be hurtful sometimes and mimic us or drag us to our feet and makes one surrender his whole being for the pursuit of it. I know I've said lot in just this one sentence. To cut to this chase, my friend is seeking my advice's or just looking for someone to listen to him while he vents or express his pains. So I calm myself down and let him talks, he talks for 30 minutes or more, during this period, I says nothing, but listen and give him all my attentions. It's feels good. By the time he finished, tears in his eyes, but not crying, as the saying goes" Big boys don't cries". Now in this blog, I will not mention what my friend told me, but I promised him that I'll blog about it and let him ask his wife to read this particular blog and I am dedicating it to them: So, take this: What can I call those words below?
My advice: Oh hell no, it's not advice's, by the way, who is me to advice any one? But let me start by saying this:
*Try to understand how other people feel through emphatic listening, and observing.
*Be open and sincere with everyone in your life. Don't hide things in your life from love one's.
*Don't take yourself too seriously, No one else does. Be calm, smile, play more and devout.
*Be content with where you are, who you are, and what you have always.
*Do the right thing, always, it doesn't matter how small that is. Try to learn from our daily mistakes.
*Find ways to release your stress often. Exercises, May be that's why I've crush on workouts.
*Do more of the things that gives you pleasure, I've few that real gives me lot of pleasure, can I say them?
*Find your passion, and create your life based on this passions.
*You don't have to win every arguments, But be able to agree to disagree. Let others wins sometimes.
*Don't always look out for fights, or be-little your mates, or talks down on anyone, but uplift others.
*Stop the drama, it breaks up happy home. Be real with love one. Talks and talks to understand.
*Don't blame others, accept mistakes, say I'm sorry and be sincere about it.
*Look your love in the eyes always, anyone who can't do that, they're not real.
*Call your love one by there names always, it's a big crush on both side. I loves my name, I really loves my name and it makes me attach to anyone faster and makes me know if that person is real or just breeze.
*Put your partner first always, show your partner that they do matter, no matter what. Smile more to each other and don't go to bed unhappy while you can seat and talks. Hold hands and talks more. Feel each other heart beats, and talks more, if nothing to talks, just hold hands and looks each other in the eyes, don't blinks. (lol) You've to blinks.
*If the house is quite, just the two of you: Pls. pop in a CD and dance slowly, I mean closer and just dance, you might not know how to dance, but try and hold each other closer and closer. Oh yeah, I mean closer.
*Remember this: Life have no promise for morrow, today is our's and morrow is in the future, who knows what will happened? Only GOD knows.
Hey brother, I do have more to say, but this is part one to my promise to you and your lovely wife, tell me what happens and I'll post part two, It's lot to say.
Love don't have to be pain or sad or expensive, love is to the bone when both sides can put the odd or bad things aside and look at the good of life and love it self. Please don't try to be perfect or pretends, just be you and be respectful. No needs for story telling or jumping the high ropes, you're bless to be here and to be born. So let makes sure we make the good of ourselves always
Some people will be confused and they'll try to get you confused and make stories against you that you don't even aware of. Don't hate them, but accept them and let them be. In many cases, they might change for the better if they truly loves you. I am a big believer in that, people will change for the better if you gives them the opportunity to. So don't close your doors. Open up and lighting you. As Louis Armstrong sangs: "What a wonderful World". And yes, I thinks so too. Don't you?
I'll see you on Friday, GOD willing.